Best Swine Flu Tweets

My hobby: Searching “swine flu” on twitter, and laughing hysterically at some of the things people have to say. I”ll leave out their names, and correct grammar as needed. I’ll stop at 20. You’ll get bored after that

1. Swine flu is totally the new Octo-mom
2. Fell and scraped up my leg on a public sidewalk today. my first thought: “grrreat definitely just got swine flu”
3. All you wanted was a Pepsi, just 1 Pepsi, & swine flu wouldn’t give it to you.
4. She could hire a small Mexican to wake her up, make her toast and throw it wherever she wants it. Only con is she might get swine flu.
5. swine flu too dirty for some of Sydney’s eastern suburbs, only poodle or shitzu flu being allowed in
6. If pigs could fly…they’d spread swine flu faster!!!
7. I’m watching the swine flu panic spread faster than the actual virus. Thank you hyperventilating media types.
8. thinking I should play Left 4 Dead tonight to prepare for the swine-flu-zombie outbreak
9. when 36,000 people annually die from the most common strain of flu, why are we freaking out about swine flu? psh media..just wash your hands
10. Jews can’t get swine flu because it’s not kosher!
11. I should say the ‘pandemic’ is bullshit. Fact is, people were getting shots for swine flu in 1976.
12. Hey, i am in the supermarket and i keep sneezing u should c how fast people r walkin by me, they think i have the swine flu. Its ok folks!
13. pearls before swine [flu]
14. so do we think the republicans will somehow try to blame the swine flu on President Obama?
15. Radio news today was a curious mix of swine flu panic and updates on the rescue of a chihuahua who blew away in a windstorm.
16. I hope Paris Hilton who may have Swine Flu (!) had the foresight to collect enough duct tape to seal her doors and windows effectively.
17. what has the world come to? Swine flu, glow in the dark puppies, and it’s only Tuesday. What else will the week bring us?
18. Swine flu: I can’t believe we haven’t blamed al-Qaeda, North Korea or Iran
19. Swine flu, the other white sheet.
20. That’s it…if swine flu is the new rage, I’m off to Mexico!

Thanks for playing ladies and gentleman. Now relax, the swine flu won’t kill you unless you don’t take care of yourself.